Why now?

Do you ever notice that when you are right in the middle of something, someone comes to your front door? Honest to god, I am sure that there are people out there just watching and waiting to catch you with either your pants down or right in the middle of colouring your hair. I have taken to locking the front door when I am about to embark on a personal grooming mission. Like colouring my hair or doing some personal waxing. I mean, I don't want the turkey hunter knowing that I colour my hair or wax between my toe(s). Really... none of their business. So if you come by and see that my car is in the drive, TV is on, dogs are inside but the front door is locked then I am probably doing something that you don't want to know anything about... but would rather just imagine... or maybe not.
Shadily (Miss Clairol #5A) yours,
Cat x

Double up on the birthdays

I love to tell people "Happy Birthday" so today I have two Happy Birthdays to pass on. Funny thing is they are both named Pete. One Pete is turning 80, the other, not quite. The older Pete, well, the family thinks that today is his birthday but they're not really sure. It is either today or maybe tomorrow. They will celebrate today- this year- maybe next year they will move it to the 29th. There is a "big" party going on in the "big" shed at the farm (his) for Pete (the old one). There will be lots of beer drinking and laughing and telling stories about "the old days" and about "old friends". Chances are some of these friends are not around any more, no more birthdays for them... but I digress... life and birthdays are for the living, so live it up while you can. As for the other Pete, I too wish him a "Happy Birthday" with many more to come. I am sure that he is celebrating with a group of friends, again with lots of beer and lots of tales. Hmmmm, wonder if Ruffel will tell his friends about how is chainsaw went up in flames? To old Pete and younger Pete have a wonderful day.
Blowing out candles (little flames) with wishes your way...
Cat x

Bad Luck

If I didn't have bad luck I would have no luck at all. Really. To set the stage for the latest in the follies of Cat's life, you have to know a couple of things. First, I live on top of a very windy hill. Two, we heat our home (and our hot water) with an outdoor wood stove. Three, I bring home all the burnable garbage from the clinic where I work (why put it in a landfill, when I can recycle it into heat and hot water?). Four, I am married to Ruffel. So, today it is very windy, I bring home the burnable garbage from work (it is a big garbage bag, industrial sized bag to be exact), it is effing freezing so the wood stove is going. I go to the wood stove, open the door and put some of the boxes in from the garbage bag, but there is not enough room in the stove to put all the garbage in so I set the bag a respectable distance from the wood stove and close the door. To keep the bag from blowing away I place a couple of pieces of wood on top of it. I go in the house and have a nice visit with my daughter-in-law and grandson. We are having tea and catching up on all the news of town. I give my grandson a haircut and we are having a grand time. I see a tractor roaring up the lane way and pick up Hayden so he can see it coming up the lane . It is Ruffel. I then see Ruffel a couple of minutes later walking with grim determination to the front door, I think to myself, mister happy is coming in. Wrong. He was not happy at all. While I was having tea and a visit the garbage that was sitting in front of the wood stove had caught fire, so did some of the wood pile that was laying there too... oh, and Ruffel's chainsaw . Ronald (Ruffel's brother) was out there with the fire extinguisher and a bucket of water madly trying to put out the blaze. Now, in my defence, I did not see any smoke, or hear any yelling for help, but, then again with the tornado like winds up here, I would neither have heard or seen anything, plus I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on outside when I am inside and the wind is so loud it is like a train is going by the front window all the time. Also in my defence, there were two vehicles that were in and out of here within a 40 minute time frame... why didn't they see the fire? Maybe one of them threw a cigarette butt out their window and the fire had nothing to do with me. All I can think of is that when I had the door of the stove open a spark must have jumped out and hid in the pile of bark etc that is all around the stove, then when I was in having tea it jumped to the bag of burnable garbage. So, to Ruffel, sorry about the chainsaw, I didn't do it on purpose (if I did it at all) and I would suggest parking your truck a little further away rather than in front of the stove... just think it could have been a lot worse.
On fire for you baby...
extinguishabley yours,
Cat x

It's a Dirty Job...

I think that my best time of the day is the morning. I seem to be more motivated to do things in the first half of the day. My creative juices are flowing, my need to organize and research are at their peak. Then there is the need to clean. The dishwasher usually goes on in the wee hours of the morn (cheaper hydro in the off hours, and who really wants to listen to the dishwasher anyway?) so I need to empty it. I usually eat my 1/2 English muffin whilst I put away the crockery. Well this morning as I left the warm confines of the shower I noticed the trap in the floor of the stall. I looked again and saw that there was hair hanging down to the black depths of "don't want to look down there land". I thought, hmmmm, I wonder if that thing will pop off and I can clean that hair out. If you have a weak stomach, you may want to stop reading- right now- because what I pulled out of that trap can only be described as a hairy alien slug of mammoth proportions. I tried to grab what I thought was a little clump of hair, but didn't have the strength to pull the weight of it out. Either that or the slug was trying to escape to the long dark confines of that black septic path. I went for backup in the form of "disposable" chopsticks, you know the cheap wooden ones you can get in a pack of 50 from the grocery store. The dryness of the wood was a blessing to grab on to this alien life form composed of many varieties and colours of body hair (yuck) and old soap scum not too mention loads of dead skin cells. I have a pretty strong stomach but this almost did me in, the only thing that stopped me from retching was the fact that I had to clench my teeth in order to summon up the strength topull this alien out and finish the job at hand. When I pulled out this monster it reminded me of the afterbirth of the cows out in the barn only this was dark grey. (Told you to stop reading if you had a weak stomach), I am proud of myself for wrestling this mass to the garbage and ultimately to the outdoor wood stove ( I am sure it will smolder for days!). Now when I step into the shower I will no longer have that feeling that something is looking up at me from the escape hatch in the floor. After removing all that evidence of a families washing frenzy I see where Ruffel's hairline has gone not too mention a little of my own.
Just call me Mike Rowe... till next time... doing the dirty job,
Cat x

I was good today

There are some places that I go that I have no will power. One of those places is Shoppers Drug Mart. There are so many cool things under one roof. There are lotions, potions, creams, and scents. Makeup, hair color,chocolate and the latest gossip. I can spend a couple of hours easily in the lipstick and perfume section alone. When I leave I have tried several shades of lipstick, on the back of my hand, sprayed several little cards with many different perfumes and tucked them into my pockets and stuffed them into my purse. I am a walking scent bomb. But today I was good. I went with my friend C to the Shoppers in Barrie (a new one, oh so big) and all I came out with was a loaf of bread. Ruffel asked me to get one as I was leaving the house. Oh yes you can get all sorts of groceries at the drug store now too. I still came out of there smelling of Euphoria, Paloma Picasso, and some form of Chanel... I just can't help myself. I love perfume, I would rather walk out of the house with no makeup on that not have perfume on... sorry to all the people who are scent sensitive. My friend C she bought all kinds of stuff, she spent so much I think she got a free Tim Horton's card... next time I might get one too!
Scentifically yours,
Cat x

Good movie

Tonight I took the kid to see the movie "How to Train Your Dragon." The latest Dreamworks venture. It was in 3D, which I hate to admit is the first time that I have ever watched a movie in 3D. I know, I am soooo behind the times. It was amazing how things seemed to be touchable. The action is right in your face, which even though it is a kids movie, was enough for me. I don't think that I could ever watch some of the "Die Hard" series in 3D or lord forbid a vampire movie, I would be scared s*itless! I did jump a little in the seat when the really big dragon came out of the depths of the "nest", although the kid didn't even flinch. Then again he has been watching scary movies since he was about 2. He would watch Lord of the Rings sucking madly on his soother and be spellbound for about 2 hours... much better than Thomas the Tank Engine you know. The kid has an affinity for horror and gore. Not me. I can watch all the real life blood and guts but none of the Hollywood stuff. You'd think it would be the other way 'round... wouldn't you? So you could say I prefer real life to the art imitating life question. Well whatever your fancy, I hope you find it all entertaining.
Still picking popcorn out of my teeth (not really)
Cat x

Can't tell you

I said that I would put any info on my blog about the woman who was found dead up the road from me. However, I have decided that I would not put anything up as I have only found minimal information about the lady in question. There is a saying in this small town that I live in "What we don't know... we make up" I am sorry but I will not subscribe to that way of thinking. Out of respect for the family of the dearly departed I will not say anything or make any suppositions about the situation. This is the second tragic death of a young person in the last 5 weeks. I cannot imagine the frame of mind that one would have to be in come to such a tragic end. I had an uncle who came to the end of his days in a self imposed death. I remember the shock and pain that the family felt then and even now. All I can say is I hope that in the end these troubled souls find peace in the afterlife.
Respectfully,
Cat x

Disturbing to say the least

Today has been a disturbing day. First thing this morning I learned from a customer that there had been a sudden death of local resident. First reports were of a "perhaps" heart attack, but this evening the story is that a propane heater was being used and the thought is the fellow was overcome by the fumes. Then there was excitement on our very front step as the OPP were seen slowly working their way up and down our hill. Russel went out to see if they were lost or if they were looking for something in particular. Seems a lady went out for a walk with her three dogs and went missing. The search helicopter was circling over the bush area across the road for quite a long time. The helicopter then left so I thought that they must have found the woman, perhaps with a broken bone or just lost. They had found her... dead. This woman was known to the OPP with apparent mental issues. Her body was found on the side of a field/bush area with her dogs guarding her lifeless body. The police were last seen trying to get to the body but the dogs were preventing them from getting to close. At this time we really don't know what happened but when I find out I will post the info here. I feel for the families of both of these people. The shock of the unexpected will go on for many moons. Disturbing to say the least.
Cat x

Batter up

I did something tonight that I hope I do not live to regret... I signed up for ladies slo-pitch. I have never played baseball before. I know that it involves hitting a mid sized round white ball with a large weighted metal bat. The idea is to nail that ball so hard that it flys out of bounds. Then you carefully drop the bat and run like hell trying not to pass the person who is running in front of you. You have to touch these white flat baggy things that people are usually standing very close too or may even have one foot on. If they catch the ball before or while you are trying to touch the "base" then someone will yell at you "OUT!" I must be out of my mind. The idea of a woman throwing a ball at me is rather frightening. Have you seen these women? I think some of them must eat nails for breakfast. They were chewing their gum and snapping it at the same time as they glared at you, almost as if they were visualizing hitting you with the ball and hearing the snap of an arm or leg or god forbid a cheek bone. I mean, I went out and bought a glove for this game. It is beautiful, purple with black stitching and Cat written in silver in the part where the ball is supposed to go. I hope I don't get it dirty. I don't think there is any danger of that, see, I figure with being so green at the game they will put me far out in left field. Somewhere the ball is sure never to go. That's OK, I will make daisy chains for all the nice women on the team, but not the gum snappers. The great part of joining a team is that there is a banquet at the end of the season(if I last that long). I am going to have to look through my wardrobe to see what sort of outfit I can put together for this rather vicious sounding game I have actually paid money to play. If my glove is purple I am probably better to wear black with just a touch of pink around the eyes in the form of my retro Prada pink shades. I have white sneakers with pink trim to tie the glasses in with the feet. I hope to god I don't have to wear a baseball cap, it will absolutely murder my "do". Too hard to fit a french roll under one of those cap things. Oh well, I will simply do my best and try to score a goal or two for the team...it is a goal, right? I will keep you posted on my progress. Tell then... here's one for the Gipper.
Cat x

Kissing my sisters' ass

I have a huge apology to deliver to my sister, Samantha. Yesterday was her birthday and I never got a chance to tell her via bellconnection "Happy Birthday". I also committed the grand faux pas of not offering her salutations of the birthday kind via my blog. So this blog I devote to my sister and the day of her birth... yesterday. When my parents were alive they would always call each of us kids on our birthdays (this was after we had all left home, except in the case of the youngest who never left home till the house was sold and she had to leave)and sing to us "Happy Birthday". They would never say hello, just break into jolly singing as soon as you had uttered 'hello'. You would smile and they would sing the whole song and do a hip hip hooray at the end. We all loved it. When my father passed away that tradition ended. So grief stricken was my mother over the loss of the love of her life that she could not bear to sing "Happy Birthday" to any of us. In fact I think that when each of our birthdays would roll around she would rather just ignore the day then relive the pain of not having my father there to sing with her,to us. So are birthdays as important to us as we age as when we were children? Absolutely. It is not about the party or the presents but more the confirmation that we are remembered and celebrated for having survived another year on this planet, in this life. So to my sister Samantha, I wish you the best belated birthday greetings that could ever be sent your way. I hope that you had a great day and celebrated with zest and glee. Just think, in a mere 364 days I will wish you a very happy birthday, yet again.

Pinatas of sweetness going your way, till next time,

Cat x

Confrontations

It seems to me that there are times when people go out of their ways to help others, and then there are the times that people seem to go out of their way to confront others. For instance, on Saturday I was in Barrie with a couple of friends shopping at Sears. Being a Saturday and having loads of sales on, the store was naturally packed with people spending money, who according to the newspapers and media outlets have no money to spend during this time of economic hardship... right, that is why there were lineups of 6 people deep waiting to pay for their purchases. It was while we were cruising through the amazing deals and selection of the shoe department that the first confrontation occurred. One lady brushed against another with her shopping bags. The lady who felt the bags said rather boisterously to the bag brasher "you hit me with your bags" the other lady replied "you ran into me" to which the first lady said "I was just standing here" to which the first lady rolled her eyes and mumbled something about "bitch in shoppers heaven". I thought that the way they were carrying on they must have known each other but apparently not. These weren't young women they were at least in their 50's or early 60's. I don't know why some people get so miserable. So what if the woman brushed you with her bag, did she leave a permanent scar? I think not. So what if someone butts in front of you in the line up, is it going to kill you to wait an extra 2 minutes? Probably not. Unless you happen to be in Tim Horton's and it is my friend who butts in front of the bitch behind us. I was standing in line (crazy busy place on a Saturday just after lunch) waiting as patiently as possible to get 2 teas and a large coffee. My friend C had just gone to use to facilities and had come back to stand behind me in the line up. The woman behind me said "hey" to which C said, "yeah I am butting in" she said it with a smile on her face and I spoke to her so the woman knew that we were in line together. Next thing this woman is grabbing C and trying to push her to the back of the line. What the hell? C says 'watch it grandma" and then laughs, the woman lets go and starts asking if she found the right washroom. At this point I am thinking oh, OK, they must know each other. C starts asking if the woman is wearing contact lens as her eyes are different. She says no, they are just that way. Then she makes the comment that her cat has the same sort of eyes. By this time we have made it up to the counter to place our order. I say to C "did you know that woman" to which she says "no". I then said that I thought that she was going to hit her for butting in line. C says "yeah, that's why I gave her the warning of "watch out grandma"". Man, some people are right out there. Our other friend who had come with us was sitting out in the van waiting which was a good thing as she is Italian... anything could have happened if she had been there. That was my afternoon. The day gets better as that night Ruffel and I were going to the landowners thank you dinner from the snowmobile club. Not that they go across our land but Ruffel's brother couldn't go so we went instead. It was the usual grey meat dinner with smashed potatoes and coronary causing gravy. The green beans were a nice touch, much better than the obligatory pig feed... corn. Why people eat corn is beyond me. It's yellow (not the best colour for food in my opinion), full of sugar and starch (your liver hates those two things and gets really confused and pissed off trying to figure out where in the body to store this garbage... hmmm should we pack it on the ass or should we put it on the knees this time?) and your digestive system cannot digest the outer covering of those little edible Lego pieces. Then at the end of the table (just to add insult to injury) there are those soft white dinner rolls with real butter. For dessert (you guessed it) pie of every kind... with whipped cream on the side, either the edible oil product in a can or the edible oil product in a plastic container. The bar was on full tilt and out to make a killing, which by the sounds and actions of the group I was with, they made a fortune that night. Dealing with a bunch of drunks when you are the DD is just a riot. Not. Why do drunk people always want to argue with you and say that they are OK to drive home? I mean they can't even stand up straight and they want to get behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle and put it on cruise control. I, however won the argument and delivered my cargo safely to their households. Another good deed to write in my book of good deeds, there aren't many pages with writing on them so need to work hard in the good deed department. Had fun at the dance, the band was great, played the kind of music I don't really like (country) but did play a little bit of other stuff, or was that the canned music on in the intermissions? The lead singer looked a lot like Van Morrison, right down to the leather cowboy hat. Had a few laughs and lots of dances... had to work off that potato and gravy dinner.
Till next time...
Cat x

A Pocketful of ...

I think I must have a bit of bloodhound in my genetic makeup. I have (well I think) a very good sniffer when it comes to smells. I can smell things that other people do not seem to notice. At work there has been a pile of the doc's outerwear sitting in the laundry box for a while. Don't get me wrong he is very fastidious but he is also very busy and has a fear of the Nazi laundromat attendant (think Jerry Seinfeld's soup Nazi guy). Today I could take it no longer. The smell of blood and manure was making me feel quite ill, yet no-one else seemed to notice it. Now when the doc goes to do his surgeries (usually in a field or a barn) he loads up all his pockets with things that he might need- scalpels, needles, tape even Canadian tire money. These are just a few of the things that I found while I was cleaning out his pockets getting the items ready for the wash. I picked up one of the pairs of coveralls and noticed that the one side seemed heavy in the pocket area, I stuck my hand into the pocket and felt something hard and stiffly haired... hmmm... what could it be. Now most of you would be going " Mama always said don't stick your hand in somewhere where you can't see" and my mother probably said the same thing at some point, but, as usual I never paid much attention to all the good advice she was giving me. Imagine my surprise when I pulled out my hand to find a piece of cow horn in it. It was semi fresh. The blood had dried, but the horn was still pinkish on the inside and the hair was still all firmly attached. I set the large and the smaller version on the desk for the doc, I figured they must be important scientific specimens if he had been holding on to them. So, now I know that my nose is a little sensitive, to have sniffed out those old horns in a pile of dirty, bloody, shitty laundry I must be a least 4/16'Th's bloodhound or vampire or maybe just a true carnivore. Now when I go into work tomorrow the only thing I should smell is the sweet scent of Chinese laundry. All the doc's surgical garments are washed and hanging blissfully from the ladder drying. I love the smell of fresh laundry, don't you?

Sweatpants and Unmentionables

I have a theory on why there are so many overweight people... sweatpants. See if you wear sweatpants all the time you really have no idea how much weight you are gaining. If you wear tighter fitting or fitted pants (or any clothes for that matter) you are more aware of what your body is doing. Don't believe me? Just have a look around next time you are out walking around. The ones in sweat pants, the ones that are dressed for any sort of sporting emergency... huh... they are past the call of the emergency. See I know this first hand. I used to come home from work and pile into my sweat pants or leggings whatever you want to call them, then after you have eaten that big meal or whole box of cookies you still feel great 'cause the pants have expanded with you, not against you like a fitted pair of pants would do. Now as to the unmentionables, if you are wearing granny panties or a sports bra you are falling into the same trap as sweat pants. I think you are more on top of the situation if you wear dental floss with an eye patch in front. Believe me you will be so much more aware of what your ass and other body parts are doing. Think back to the '50's when so many women used to dress in high heels and flare skirts ( you know like Mrs. Cleaver, "gee Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night") I mean you just had to be so aware of every ounce you put on or took off. I think that things (meaning eating habits and food for that matter) were a little easier back then. Food and meal times were a family affair with home cooked meals and a much healthier balance of fat, carbs and sugar. So you might wonder where all this thought is coming from. Well today I caught an episode of Dr. Oz, I don't usually watch his show but I found his thoughts (and most of the medical community) on diet and heart disease quite interesting. No more than 10% of your daily intake should be from fat. 15 to 20% should come from protein, preferably veg protein (like tofu or beans) and 70 to 75% should be from complex carbs. A pretty simple formula to follow. Yeah, I knew you would say that. I am going to try to stick to that regime and see what happens. I don't have heart disease or high blood pressure or high cholesterol and I want to keep it that way! I also want to make sure that my dental floss doesn't get lost somewhere where I will never find it.
Feeling like a health nut,
Cat x

What a Thrill

Today I had lunch with a good friend of mine. Kim is the psychic that I have often talked about and had dealings with over the last seven years. When I had my shop in town she would often come and do readings for clients. Since I have retired from my business our friendship and business relationship has continued. I have had Kim to my house on several occasions doing readings for friends and strangers alike. Kim decided a couple of years ago that she would like to write a book about all of her experiences and the things that she has seen while doing readings for so many people. She has done thousands of readings over the years. I was privileged enough to be able to work with Kim on this project. The book is called, "Wake Up Call". I had a great time working with Kim and being able to contribute to the creation of this dream. So far Kim has sold more than 25,000 copies... might not seem like a lot in comparison to a great seller like "Twilight" but Kim has sold all of these books simply by word of mouth... not yet in a book store. To me that is an amazing feat, and congratulations on her success. She is getting ready to do her second printing with her goal on getting the book on the shelves of Chapters etc. As I did contribute to the book I am ecstatic to see my name in the front cover of the book as a contributor (there were a few of us who worked on the book). To see your name in print is a real thrill. As I continue to slug along on my daily musings of life in my blog, I am living in hope that this discipline will yield me my own true to life published piece of literature. Writing is a difficult form of creative expression, even more difficult to be recognized for than a painting or sculpture. For those forms of art one only has to open their eyes, for writing it takes covenant on the part of the audience to commit to reading the whole story in order to appreciate the message. To those of you who continue to humor me by reading this blog I say a big THANK YOU, I certainly do value your time and energy that you bestow to my meanderings.
Sincerely,
Cat x

Taboo for you

Do you ever notice that when you are not supposed to have something it is all you can think about? Like for me if there is chocolate in the house I have to look at it, smell it, have a little taste until it is gone. Lately I have succumbed to tasting it and then spitting it out (it just makes me feel so ill if I actually eat it), just to get over the brain thinking that it is in charge of the situation. I have a friend who cannot leave chips alone, especially the dill pickle flavor of Lay's. They need to eat the whole bag... he was probably the idea behind their slogan "bet you can't eat just one". So why is it that the brain has so much control over our bodies when our bodies just want to scream "STOP" when we eat something that we shouldn't (or drink). If scientists could just figure out that wiring system then we would really be on to something. I think that day is in the future, but, all those diet centers probably have a conspiracy theory going to make sure that it never happens. Hmmm, now where is that Easter bunny from 8 years ago... and the spittoon.
Crazy cravings and Pepto Bismally yours,
Cat x

Out with the Girls

What a glorious day. I simply had to get out with the girls and enjoy the sunshine. We walked for 2 and a half hours, basking in the sights, sounds and smells of nature. I was disappointed in the amount of garbage that has been thrown along the small road at the back of our property. This area would be pristine if not for all the empty beer bottles, beer cans, water bottles, pop cans, old couches and even the roofing off some building. The old roofing was thrown into the swamp area where I am sure that many of the forest inhabitants come to get a drink of water from the underground spring that bubbles up. Now that water has been tainted with the tar and crap that was in the roofing... I would love to know who dumped it there so that I could return it to its rightful owner. What the hell is the matter with people? My son Anthony had come along for the walk. He picked up all the beer bottles and cans and all the other bits that we could fit into the empty Staples bag that was laying on the side of the track. We vowed that we would take a bag with us every time we went for a walk so that we may clean up the mess left by the inconsiderate cretins who dared litter our little bit of green paradise. Shame on you and thank you. You made the lesson of keeping the countryside clean and habitable for the nature that relies on clean water and safe areas to graze a little easier. The girls ( Sisi, Nellie and Lizzie) enjoyed the walk too, thankfully none of them sliced open their paws on the broken glass they ran through, after all they would never think that running through the woods would mean they could raze their paws to pieces.

Recycling and collecting nickels... till next time,

Cat x

Time flies by

I never posted a blog on Friday because it was just too depressing of a day. What should be spring was in fact winter. Snow and cold north winds. I did not want to get out of bed so dreary was the day. I did though and got through the day at work and came home to my teapot and snuggy blanket. The rest of the afternoon was rather uneventful. I spoke to my sister in the evening and she reminded me of how long my parents have been gone. Seven years this July for my father and coming up on five years for my mother... where has that time gone? It just seems like yesterday. Maybe it is because I keep pushing down the emotional feelings that go along with the loss of a loved one that one becomes unaware of just how much time has gone by.
Work on Saturday was rather busy which makes me happy, I need to justify to the boss that it is important that there is someone available in the office if only to hand out meds. I then went to babysit my grandson for an hour or so which was very quiet... he was sleeping and never woke the whole time I was there. I watched some Bollywood TV. I just love Bollywood. I love the dancing, I have never seen such funny movies and the music is all the same beat. The movie was half English half some other language, I think Punjab of some sort. But, and don't think of me as a racist when I say this, but most of the people in the movie were very white. Natural white, not Michael Jackson white... I am going to have to find out more about where this area is, if any of you know please let me know. Saturday night I went out for dinner with my friend K, had a fab salad at East Side Marios (Tuscan Chicken- greens, fresh figs, goat cheese and grilled chicken breast, it was perfect). We then went to see the movie Hot Tub Time Machine, now to enjoy this movie you had to be around and well aware of the '80s (which I was) to see those old leg warmers and big hair dos, oh my god, made me cringe. The movie was good and funny and I would recommend it to all, just good entertainment. Looks like there are a bunch of not so good ones coming up in the near future. Fans on Macgiver (sp) there is a spoof (of sorts) coming out for you. Today has risen full of sunshine and so far very little wind, so I think I think I will get the laundry going and see where this day takes me...
Later,
Cat x

Wondering

Do you ever wonder where ideas come from? Like who thought of toilet paper? Did they just get tired of looking for burdock leaves? So the conversation might have been "Gladys, there are no burdock leaves in here... what the hell have you been doing all day?" Picture Gladys with eight kids in tow, and one hanging off her left breast running out of the stone kitchen to look for burdock leaves for Frank who is sitting in the little wooden house a few feet from the back door of their shack. Oh you might think that Gladys is running to get burdock leaves, but in my dream she is running to lock that shit house door from the outside and high tail it out of Dodge. I wonder if it was a woman who invented toilet paper? I will have to ask my friend Janice Crapper if her great grandfather, who invented the toilet also thought of toilet paper. Maybe the first toilet paper was the instruction booklet that came with the first indoor toilet. I can hear the men talking " well, crappers in, think I might have to try it out, shit, where do you keep the burdock leaves? Oh well, guess I'm finished with the instruction book, might as well use it" I remember going to my grandparents cottage in Sweden and they only had an outhouse and yes there was a book in there... not to read but an old catalogue to use as toilet paper. You could go to the unmentionables section and rip out your favorite picture of a pink bra and use it to wipe... well you know. My mother and father both had an aversion to talking about bodily functions and body parts for that matter. The grocery list would never say toilet paper, but would say instead TP, secret code for burdock leaves on a roll. The secret code word for ass was BT, stands for bottom. I had to wait till I was 18 to find that one out. I don't know why it was all so hush- hush and taboo, I mean every living thing on the planet has this bodily function, if it goes in it has to come out. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit around and shot the shit about shit and toilet habits all day, actually I never talk about it - except here. So if you know who invented toilet paper I would like to hear from you. Also if you find out who invented the can opener let me know, I want to know what came first the can or the opener. Did Campbells put their soup in a can only to discover that there was no way to open them and had to wait for someone to come up with the idea? Or did someone invent an opener and wonder when someone would invent a can to open? Just letting you know how my mind works... or not.
Cashmerly yours,
Cat x

The forest is alive

I went for a walk with the dogs after dinner. The evening was calm and the rain had held off. I no sooner put my boots on and the hounds were afoot, ready to take one of our first spring outings. I strode purposely out to the last bit of forest on the edge of our property, a mere mile away. There in the depths of dead leaves was the awakening of the green of a new crop of leeks. Intermingled with the short green bursts of pungent leeks were the wispy tall ranks of daffodils. I could not help myself, I had to rob the forest of a few of its offerings to brighten the black counters of my kitchen. Yes, I am guilty of stealing from mother nature for the sole purpose of my own quest of springs glorious yellow bounty a selfish act I say. On the way back to the house I marvelled at the industrious antics of birds, eagerly pairing up to build nests and make eggs that would hatch into new life. Spring, what more can you say?
Cat x

Shopping for fun stuff or not?

I hate shopping. Well, let me rephrase that. I hate shopping for car batteries, kitty litter and personal shavers. I mean yes, you do need all of those things, but there is just not the excitement in looking at them that there is looking for just the right bag, or the right pair of red shoes. Car batteries should come in all sorts of different colours to compliment ones personal taste, or at least match the colour of your vehicle. Would it be that hard to make that plastic coating just the right shade of pouty pink? If they came in all sorts of different colours more women would probably spend more time in the automotive department. As for kitty litter it is simply a matter of too many choices. Do you buy the clumping, the flushable, the more than one cat family, the one that turns blue where your cat pees so you can find it (what if you are colour blind, is the blue -purple?) or do you buy the one that is made out of "yesterdays news", do the cats sit and read while they are in the box? There is the super scented, the unscented, the "organic" scented (?) the all amazingly floral scented. I am only selecting for the litter box of one cat who probably would prefer just plain old sand, but since I have to clean up after the little darling (his name is Sven) I went with the highly scented, clumping, more than one cat in the family brand. I figure with the potency of the cat pee I had better get the most potentially neutralizing brand going. Now onto the personal shaver. I don't know why shaving your legs should be one of the happiest experiences of your day. It is just something that most woman do, usually in the morning shower. In the morning I don't need a bright yellow or orange or hot pink shaver. I don't need any more of that morning glory in my face. Yep, I am happy that I woke up and have another kick at the can of life, but I don't need Julie Andrews in the form of a shaver getting all giddy with colour and happiness in my face. Why don't shavers come in a nice shade of black? Something that will match the chrome highlights of the faucet? A nice neutral grey or even just plain old white... well maybe not white, I have cut myself enough times that I could see the white being stained with blood all too soon, see, black would be perfect! My favorite shopping is in antique stores. You just never know what you will find. Being a history lover I just imagine where that 1800's bed might have come from or even better who slept in it or even better who might have died in it or even better who might have been born in that bed or even better who was made in that bed! I know silly thinking, but thinking all the time. I have a bed from the 1800's, it has survived countless moves, a fire, illness (my own) has been a place of incredible dreams, and all this since I have owned this bed. The mattress has been changed after all that action and now serves as a guest bed. So the legacy continues for the bed as I have quite a few house guests over the course of a year. The thing with this bed is that it is quite high off the ground almost 3.5 feet to be exact. The last guest that stayed in the "bed" commented that it was like a bed for a princess, I never knew that he was so in touch with his feminine side! So next time you go shopping be sure to fill in one of those "how was your shopping experience" cards and tell them we want car batteries that come in all the "right" shades of pink, purple, green, red, gold or silver. Think of all the women who will hang out in the automotive department- that should be incentive enough for the man in charge.
Shopping and living in vibrant colour (except in my leg shaver)
Cat x

Everyone should have the day off

Do you ever notice that when it is one of those holidays that not everyone gets off, how pissed off the people are who are working seem? I mean there really should be a standard rule for holidays. Either everyone gets the day off or nobody gets the day off. Tell me why the postal worker gets the day off but the medical personnel don't. Why the teacher gets the day off but not the mechanic. Why the liquor store is closed yet the farmer still has to go out and roll out the straw? Oh wait... I just figured it out myself. Mail is so slow that it really doesn't matter missing another day, teachers, well, I'm not going there, and the liquor store, well, so far that seems to be the most important closure of all. The malls are all open, the grocery store is too, only the ones who get so many holidays and extra days off seem to qualify for yet another day off. Well, I went to work today, I love my job, wouldn't want the extra day off. Having the extra day off just makes it harder to get back into the swing of things. Tomorrow when I go to get my mail I will probably find the box empty 'cause the postal workers are still trying to get back into the swing of things. It will take till the end of the week to get things caught up and then look! it's Friday again, and they have two days off. I'm not slamming the postal workers, it is more of a government thing. This extra day off on the Easter weekend should have been cut out years ago. Good Friday I understand, but the Monday, really, how many postal workers do you know are religious? I have heard some of them say "mother of god" or "holy christ" but it is usually after they have been nipped by the dog or are having trouble on the new computer system when you are trying to buy a two cent stamp to cover the rise in price of the old stamps that you have a whole roll of. Oh well, I guess if they aren't going to change the words to Oh Canada they sure as hell aren't going to get rid of an extra day off. Just my two cents worth for today.
Wishing I had a government job,
Cat x

The Perils of Partying or How to put your foot in it

I haven't written in a couple of days, for good reason. There has been a whirlwind of activity in my life and I have just simply not had time to write (boo hoo). Good Friday being a beautiful day just called to me to go and work in the gardens. It is great to get out and get started on the arduous task of cleaning up after the winter season. Here on the hill it gets very windy and blustery, tree limbs are a common casualty. Dog poop is rampant, and repulsive, although most of it is in the process of white decay and mummification, easier to pick up that way. I am now sporting a bright red, raw circle on the inside of my right thumb... why hasn't anyone invented a gardening glove with just the right amount of padding to prevent the proverbial blister? I think that with all the technology available in the design department it would be a cinch... but maybe the task of raking has lost its appeal in the gardening world now that those leaf blowers are available to the general public via Canadian Tire? So that was my Friday, laborious but enjoyable, painful but productive. So on to Saturday. After fulfilling my work contract ( 2 hours) I partook in hot beverage festivities with my best friend C. We had our customary giggles and serious thoughts on the trials of life and all that it entails. We then meandered down the street to a local shop to have a look 'round. C was interested in a lamp in the window but due to the exorbitant price she passed it by. I however found two lovely en toile french mugs that I just had to have. They are up in the china hutch as I write. I love them. Saturday night was to be an evening of joviality and of new memory making with friends. There were six of us, three couples. First, we went to dinner at a restaurant, at which I am yet to have a good meal. I was the D.D. (designated driver) for the evening so the others would not have to worry about how much they drank or how they would get home. The waitress came to take our drinks order, everyone ordered their beverage of choice, when it came to my turn I declined saying that I was fine. The waitress then asked me if I wanted a glass of water to which I replied "No thanks, your water is terrible" the waitress acquiesced saying that she hated the taste of the restaurants water too (from its own well). Not a good selling feature for the restaurant when the waitress agrees with you. The meal came, I took most of mine home for the dogs (they'll eat anything), the others ate theirs with little complaint. I mean really, how hard is it too get the order of mashed potatoes with gravy correct? Why did I have to ask for the gravy a second time? Why is that when they used bagged salad it comes all limp? Do they not know to refresh under cold water? I should have been a food critic, I could have had an illustrious career as a poison penner... hmmm... is it too late? or am I already fulfilling this quest without really realizing the impact? So on to the rest of the night. Like I said earlier I love my van, but I have to tell you that it sure drives differently with an extra 900 pounds in it. I had all the seat belts filled, so that is seven passengers ( a couple of them on the large scale of life). After an uneventful journey to the location of the buck and doe ( it is a fund raiser for a couple getting married, the buck is the groom and the doe is the bride) I could smell the brakes a testament to how hard they worked with all the extra weight. I have been to many of these fundraisers, at most of them I have known at least one of the marital party, but in this case I knew neither, but any excuse for a party (er, fundraiser)in my books. The group that I was with was ready to party, having had a head start on the liquor parade at home, restaurant and pick up point. I like going out and partying, I just don't like the loud music. Why the hell do they have to play the music at such a level that it makes the water in my water bottle vibrate? Really, most people just want to talk and have fun, the music is just a ruse, used by drunken women to give them an excuse to go and make a gyrating fool of themselves in a room full of strangers who are also drunk and just looking for the show of drunken women making a fool of themselves. Honestly, no-one in their sober minds would behave like that. Anyway, I being the D.D was saved (this time) of having to participate in the mating dance of the inebriated (like I said this time, doesn't mean I haven't done it in the past). Funny how when you are drunk you suddenly feel like you are the best dancer on the planet, when that presumption could not be further from the truth (or sober reality). I had two dances last night, one with Ruffel and one with the mechanic who fixed my van. I am the worst dancer on the planet, and I am not afraid to admit that. I have no sense of rhythm (except my own) and always try to lead. The mechanic kept reminding me that he was to lead, not me, to which I responded " dancing is just like life to me, I am always trying to be in control" yeah, I think I will stick to drinking and dancing, 'cause when I drink my mouth doesn't work so well and I will save myself from sounding like a dolt. Who the hell talks about controlling their life when they are dancing? The mechanic then went on to say that I had a beautiful smile, I said thanks so did he. He opened his mouth wide and said "I have been working on my teeth for a couple of years" so I say " are they all your own?" ARGH!!! why does my mouth work faster than my brain? At this point the trays of jell-o shooters start to make their way around the room. You know, those little medicine cups with jello and vodka mixed together, except this time they had them in syringes as well... BRILLIANT! So much easier to just open up and squirt away, rather than trying to wrap your tongue around the inside of those little cups... although I think some people would find that act erotic... I guess the syringes could be akin to the same method of thinking. Hmmm, well, I prefer the syringes, so much easier to manipulate, one big gush and its over. It was only about 10cc's of jello so nothing that was going to do you in, although I did have five, but that was hours before I drove everyone home. See that's the thing when you are the D.D. and watching people as they sink deeper into the pool of toxicity. You realize that you are the only sane person in the whole room and yet you are the only one not laughing your head off at every little quip that comes out of peoples mouths. I give you this example. I have lost a lot of weight and it shows. It shows because I make a point of wearing things that show just this fact. I spent most of my adult life in the moo moo section of ladies wear and dammit I am going to enjoy the last half of my adult life in the juniorish section (well, in at least the single digit size section of cool ladies wear). Many of the people that know me have not seen me for quite some time (winter is long and arduous here in the tundra north) so many were taken aback by my new appearance. Now, here is a prime reason that when you are drinking you really should not try to speak philosophically or even try to sound intelligent. I am standing with my little cluster of friends ( you never sit down at these things, instead you stand for the solid 5 1/2 hours, intercepted only by the drunken show of mating dance dancing) when a woman approaches me and says "god Cat you look fabulous, you look at least ten years younger, like, you look like you are 32! man you just look so great" and gives me the double thumbs up. I had no idea who this woman was but I hugged her and told her I loved her... 32... shit I am hanging onto that compliment forever! Then after a little while I realized that she was quite drunk and was probably looking at three of me when she passed on the compliment. Oh but it gets better, a woman who I have never met before but again seems to know me, says, "wow, Cat you look great. Wendy ( aha) told me what you had done (surgery wise), good for you. But I have to ask you, what about your bowel movements?" WHAT! Why didn't you just ask me if those were my own teeth? I took great pleasure in the thought that I wasn't the only one who says ridiculous things, but, sad at the fact that I manage to say my things while sober, at least the other women had the excuse of alcohol consumption... although I did have those five syringes, would they count? I guess these two women had filled their glasses a few too many times at the fountain of liquid courage... also know as the bar, so this is why they said these things to me. The compliments I love, so to the one woman I say "belly up and reload" as many times as you want. To the other woman I offer this piece of advice, if you are drunk and you ask someone about their bowel movements chances are you are too shit faced to be talking about bodily functions... just stick to the mating dance of the inebriated it will get you further down the trail of happy time than just talking shit.
Looking for redemption,
Cat x

Easter Lily's smell just like the funeral home...

Wow, my good friends who came for dinner for last Saturday night brought me tulips and a couple of Easter Lily's. I love flowers but have you ever noticed that they let of flower farts at night? I am sitting watching Kat Von D and I notice this horrible smell, a smell that is sickly sweet and reminds me of death. Hmmmm, maybe that is why they are called Easter Lily's, to remind us of the death of Jesus. I only have a couple of them in the house, but I have had to put them outside for the night, the smell was becoming oppressive. No offense to the nice people that gave them to me. I will bring them back in the morning (temp will be warm tonight they will be fine). Not only is there the overpowering smell of Easter lilies there is also the buzzing of cluster fly's. Man, that is the worst thing about living out in the country on a beef (shit) farm is the freaking flys. They are the most irritating things going. Why the hell they were ever introduced here is beyond me. They have adapted so well to our climate and surroundings they are taking over in the millions. I feel that they have no natural predators other than the fly swatter. They show up in black droves, they swarm the house and windows. They dive bomb at your dinner or cup of tea when you are trying to eat and drink. Reading in bed is a challenge as they love to fly around the lamp shade banging in to the side of it all the time, anything to disrupt your reading or sleeping time. The absolute worse thing is making your bed in the morning and finding squished fly's but even worse only half of fly bodies wondering who in the bed ate the other half. The flys signal the beginning of the spring season which also translates into the heavy vacuum system.
Hoveringly yours,
fly infested Cat xx