Batter up

I did something tonight that I hope I do not live to regret... I signed up for ladies slo-pitch. I have never played baseball before. I know that it involves hitting a mid sized round white ball with a large weighted metal bat. The idea is to nail that ball so hard that it flys out of bounds. Then you carefully drop the bat and run like hell trying not to pass the person who is running in front of you. You have to touch these white flat baggy things that people are usually standing very close too or may even have one foot on. If they catch the ball before or while you are trying to touch the "base" then someone will yell at you "OUT!" I must be out of my mind. The idea of a woman throwing a ball at me is rather frightening. Have you seen these women? I think some of them must eat nails for breakfast. They were chewing their gum and snapping it at the same time as they glared at you, almost as if they were visualizing hitting you with the ball and hearing the snap of an arm or leg or god forbid a cheek bone. I mean, I went out and bought a glove for this game. It is beautiful, purple with black stitching and Cat written in silver in the part where the ball is supposed to go. I hope I don't get it dirty. I don't think there is any danger of that, see, I figure with being so green at the game they will put me far out in left field. Somewhere the ball is sure never to go. That's OK, I will make daisy chains for all the nice women on the team, but not the gum snappers. The great part of joining a team is that there is a banquet at the end of the season(if I last that long). I am going to have to look through my wardrobe to see what sort of outfit I can put together for this rather vicious sounding game I have actually paid money to play. If my glove is purple I am probably better to wear black with just a touch of pink around the eyes in the form of my retro Prada pink shades. I have white sneakers with pink trim to tie the glasses in with the feet. I hope to god I don't have to wear a baseball cap, it will absolutely murder my "do". Too hard to fit a french roll under one of those cap things. Oh well, I will simply do my best and try to score a goal or two for the team...it is a goal, right? I will keep you posted on my progress. Tell then... here's one for the Gipper.
Cat x