A Great Way To Die

I read an interesting article on Yahoo this evening. It states that after lots of scientific and medical studies, it has been determined by this group of individuals that Scotland is the sickest nation on the planet. Less than 2% of the population is healthy. The other 98% have at least 2 major life threatening ailments. The most common were heart problems and obesity. What would you expect from a nation that has built a world wide reputation on its choice of national beverage. The pub is the place of worship for most Scots as they gather round the pulpit (the bar) and feast on pork rinds washed down with copious amounts of beer and scotch. Don't get me wrong I love the Scots. I had a great time while in Scotland and found them to be a lovely friendly folk, well, except for that shop keeper in that wee town on the Loch, and then there was that waitress in the wee cafe where we had lunch one day. My sister asked where the lav was after we had had our lunch, to which the waitress replied " the facilities are for customers only" to which my sister said "we just had lunch here, so we are customers" to which the waitress said" you've paid your bill and you are finished eating, so you are no longer customers, you are past customers and your time here is over, thank you!" Bloody miserable biotch she was. My son had a great time in Scotland trying to keep up with the locals in the pub. The Stella could not run fast enough for him or the others at the bar. Not only is it the drinking habits of the Scots but also the food habits. If you have ever been to Scotland, or the UK for that matter, you will notice how much of their food is fried, as in deep fried. You go round the local chippy and you will find everything is available in the deep fried form. Mars bars (yes the chocolate sort) even hamburger patties are battered and deep fried. The usual fare of fish and chips as well as pasties and Indian curry dishes, all deep fried. Then there is the fried eggs and black pudding (don't ask what that is, you really don't want to know, well, OK, it involves oatmeal and blood). The hotel we stayed at in Oban supplied a breakfast with our room. Everything was fried in heavy oil and came floating out to our table. Mushrooms, tomatoes, eggs, even the bread was deep fried. My dad used to make a full English breakfast for us when I was a kid it was a Sunday treat. Bacon, the good thick kind, eggs, baked beans, sausage, tomatoes and fried bread. The bread was done last to soak up all the lovely bacon grease, hey, don't knock it till you try it. Just once though, as your arteries leading to the main chamber of your heart will only be able to handle it the one time! So should the Scots and the rest of the world be surprised at the findings of this study? Surely not. The only thing that I would say on it is, at least they are having a right jolly good old time killing themselves. I mean what is the point of living a life so dull and boring only to find yourself at the old age of 90 laying in hospital dying of nothing. I would rather live till 60 and have a blast going out. So I raise my glass to the Scots for having the reputation of being the sickest but the happiest group of people on the planet.
Till next time dipping my deep fried Mars bar in my glass of Scotch and tossing a caber in your direction...
Cat x